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Beyond the Happy Ending
Part 3 - The Jealousy Syndrome

by Patricia Fason

Jealousy, unfortunately it seems to pop up sometime in even the happiest relationships. Jealousy can happen to anyone, male or female, young or old. Sometimes it is justified; sometimes itís about things imagined. Either way, it is an ugly, unwanted feeling. In talking to women, I have found a few common sources of jealousy that we as the female species seem to feel. All of these do not apply to all women, but this is a general consensus.

  1. Our man looking at a woman we consider pretty.

  2. Our man having any association with porn, be it a magazine or movie.

  3. A pretty woman where he works that seems to show him a lot of attention.

  4. A pretty woman at work that he has made friends with.

  5. He ogles some pretty actress in a movie youíre watching.

Ladies, if you think about each one of these, what is the core of the problem? If we are honest, the answer is us. The common factor in each of the above is that it makes us feel we are not pretty enough, or that he finds someone else more attractive than you. Perhaps, he even wants someone else more than you but he is settling. There may be times when you should be jealous, but in the majority of these cases, itís unjustified and here is why.

I asked men about these very same things. Here is what the majority of them had to say.

  1. Iím in love with my girlfriend/wife, but I do still notice other attractive women. Iím not comparing her to the woman Iím with because there is no comparison. I love one; I only notice the other one.

  2. Porn is about sex. It doesnít make me wish I had another woman; it just makes me think about sex. Sometimes I watch movies to see if I can learn new things or get ideas of things to do with my woman.

  3. Iím flattered when a woman at work pays attention to me. It doesnít mean I want her, I just like feeling attractive.

  4. When you work with people, friendship happens, male or female. If Iím really in love with my partner, thatís all it ever will be is a friendship. Itís frustrating when she constantly gets upset about it.

  5. Pretty much the same responses that were given in number one except men find this one silly. There is no way they could cheat on you with her so whatís the big deal.

Ladies, this tells us that we worry way too much. Men who are in love place you separate from other women. They may notice other women, even find them attractive, but in general, they are happy being with the woman they are in love with.

©Patricia Fason

Part 1 - The Nothing Syndrome | Part 2 - The Not-The-Same Syndrome | Part 3 - The Jealousy Syndrome
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