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Relationship Advice - Tips For A Successful First Date

Tips For A Successful First Date

by Patricia Fason

A first date can be stressful. Trying to decide what to wear, where to go, will they like me, what do I say, and the countless other things that pass through our head beforehand. Here are a few tips that I hope will help you through it so you can just relax and have fun.

Dress Attractively
You should wear something appropriate for wherever you are going on the date. Ladies, don't dress too sexy for the first date or you will appear easy. Men, don't dress too casually (i.e. shorts and a t-shirt, unless you are going to the beach) as you want her to know that you made an effort to look attractive for your date.

Intelligent Conversation
Engage the other person with interesting topics. If you are unsure what to talk about, ask them questions about themselves, or watch the news the night before so you can chat about world events. Talking about an ex is a no-no.

Sense of Humor
Laughing together is always a good thing. If you have an amusing joke or story, tell it. A first date is about getting to know each other, so keeping things light and fun is the best way to go. Be aware that your date is probably nervous also so chuckle if their jokes are lame and give them a break.

Listen
When the other person is talking to you, pay attention. A lot of useful information can be gathered this way. For example, if they tell you they don't like swimming, you will know not to go swimming on the second date. If they mention they love chocolate then you could show up with a box of chocolates next time or better yet, bake something chocolate. Most importantly however, is the fact that when someone tells you something and then it becomes obvious that you weren't listening, it is like telling the other person you are not interested in what they have to say.

Be Realistic
Don't think that you are in love with the person. If this is the first date, then you don't know the person well enough and are basing your opinions on your own ideas of them. If you expect them to be something they aren't, you will only disappoint yourself. Keep an open mind and learn what the person is really all about before assuming you have anything more than a crush or lust happening between you.

Be Real
It's well known that people behave their very best when starting a new relationship or getting to know someone. There is nothing wrong with that. However, pretending to be someone you aren't, acting like you like the things that they do, even though you don't, and being fake are mistakes you will regret. If you continue dating this person, they will eventually learn that you were not being honest and solid relationships are based on trust which is born from honesty. Don't sabotage yourself before things even get going and just be yourself.

Pay Attention
When you are on a date with someone, give them your attention. Don't check out the good looking guy in the corner, or men, don't drool at every woman that walks by. If your date sees that they have your full attention, they will be flattered and much more likely to want to go out with you again.

Hard To Get
Women - Don't be too easy on the first date. Men like a little bit of chase (regardless of what they may tell you) and enjoy challenges. If not sleeping with him means no second date, you are better off finding out now that he is that shallow. It is better to have his respect then to have him wondering later on if you sleep with every man the first time you go out with him.
Men - This goes for you too in a slightly different way. Let the lady chase you a little bit also. Seeming too eager for a relationship can come off as desperate. This doesn't mean you should act uninterested, just don't seem too eager to move things into a relationship when you have only just started dating.

Date Not Going Well?
If you find out that you aren't interested in the middle of a date, have the courtesy to treat the other person with respect. You wouldn't want to be treated rudely so don't treat them that way. If they are persistent you can tell them that you just don't feel that way about them and would prefer to be friends.

I had a great time. What now?
Give them a call in a day or two to chat. If it seems they enjoyed the date as much as you did, then make arrangements for another date. Ladies, if you feel uncomfortable asking a man out, invite him over for a home cooked meal or to watch a movie. On the other hand, if they appear to be avoiding you or not returning your phone calls, take this as a sign that they just didn't connect with you and move on. If you really feel a connection and don't want to give up that easily, wait at least a week or two before calling again and keep the conversation very casual. If they don't feel pressure from you, there is a possibility they will be willing to try another date.

ęPatricia Fason

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