We've got the secret for more fun online dates, with less lying
and better safety. Is it Red Bull spiked with truth serum? No, it's team dating,
the latest and greatest in online dating.
Instead of the usual online hookup for two, team daters date in teams. Two or
three of my closest pals set up a group date with two or three of yours. Here's
why we think team dating is a fabulous idea:
Safety in Numbers
Instead of meeting a complete stranger for drink all alone, you'll meet a throng
of complete strangers, accompanied by your closest friends. Plus, there are no
worries about driving home alone -- you know your pals will make certain you get
No Faux-tos (a.k.a Fake Photos)
Your date's friends will keep him honest. He's far less likely to post a photo
of himself when he was 20 pounds lighter with significantly more hair and fewer
wrinkles if he knows that his friends (and yours!) will call him on it at the
moment of truth, when you all meet up for the first time. The threat of public
humiliation is a fine tool to keep us all walking the straight line.
To Tell the Truth
In the same vein, the great thing about dating someone in front of their friends
is that it keeps them honest. No remaking his two-year stint as a ball boy in
the seventh grade for the Hickory Crawdads into a near-miss career as a major
league pitcher. No glossing over that seven-year employment gap as a period of
reflection to write a novel/live with Buddhist monks/join the Peace Corps if it
was really just chronic laziness in the form of one bad pizza-flipping gig after
"Team dating takes the anxiety out of dating. If you're a listener rather than a
talker, it's really helpful to have other people there," explains Elizabeth, a
team dating practitioner and fan.
"It takes a lot of the pressure off a regular dating situation. There's never a
lull in conversation, because you have five other people there to pick up the
slack. Plus you won't get stuck with a guy who might be a psycho. On the
downside," she laughs, "you might end up with three."
Why Is This Catching On So Quickly?
Frankly, its way more fun than regular online dating. If your date turns out to
be a dud, you can still have a fabulous time hanging out with your friends.
Plus, you won't have to worry about dishing the details of your date-gone-wrong
the next day over margaritas; your closest pals will be there to witness the
crash-and-burn firsthand. Plus, team dating eliminates most of the concerns that
crop up in regular online dating: safety and honesty.
While some sites are suggesting daters register as teams, I think this is where
the concept falls apart. Say you pick out a cutie online, then, you have to talk
your team into dating the rest of his or her team. The chances of six or eight
of you matching up like sweater sets from Talbots is pretty damned slim.
So how do you partake in team dating without forcing your dearest friends into a
triple-wingman formation? You and three of your buddies pick out your own dates
online, and meet up at a single location, say the bowling alley or a local
watering hole for your date for eight.
At worst, your date will be a social experiment gone wrong. At best, you and
your teammates may find you've all hit a home run.
Now, that's major league dating.
Armed with these tips from the pros, your dating game just got a whole lot
smoother, sleeker and sexier. Game on.
Lisa Daily is the author of Stop Getting Dumped!
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