Whoever says love can't happen on the internet is wrong. Sure it
doesn't happen a lot, but it does happen. I'm living proof and this is my story.
Almost six years ago, I separated from my husband. It was tough, as anyone who
has been through it can tell you. I won't bore you with the 'whys' and 'how
comes', Just suffice it to say that I thought I was done with men. Come on
ladies, all of us have felt that at one time or another, and I would imagine the
vice-versa is true of men too. In the beginning, I dated a lot, not taking
anyone seriously and always warning them that I didn't want any kind of
commitment. I ended up getting involved with a man for about a year, but only
because I knew I wouldn't get too attached and it was obvious that he needed me.
When he became terribly ill and went to live with his family, I just didn't have
it in me to go out and start dating again. Out of loneliness, I turned to the
internet for companionship.
I can hear some of you saying, 'Oh my gosh, I'd never be that desperate.' and
others going 'Yes, I do that, I know what she is saying' or maybe it's 'Isn't
that dangerous?' Believe me, I've heard them all. As to the danger, yes, it can
be dangerous if you meet them in person. At this point, however, I had no
intentions of that. I saw it as some light-hearted flirting and a way to pass
the time. I wandered from chat room to chat room until I found one I really
liked and became a 'regular'. To my surprise, I found myself becoming attached
to the people in there. I was interested in what was going on in their life and
they seemed to feel the same about me. Still, I was sure, I had no intentions of
getting seriously involved with anyone, let alone anyone on the computer. Then,
it happened....
It was October 6, 2001, I was sitting there talking to my friends, when one of
the regulars came in. I hadn't talked to him much and decided that maybe it was
time to get to know him. I sent him a private message and he responded. We found
that we shared many interests. Our values were similar and I realized I was
really enjoying myself. We spent the whole night talking. Six hours had passed
in what seemed like a short amount of time. With the sun coming up, we decided
to log off and meet again the next night. This continued for about a week. At
that point, it seemed just typing to each other wasn't enough. He encouraged me
to get a web cam so we could hold actual conversations. By the end of the second
week, I was at the store, picking one out. After that, we spent every moment we
possibly could together.
Months went by and both of us had reached the point where we
couldn't bear to be apart any longer. He asked me to move in with him. At first,
I thought it was impossible. I had a job I liked, I lived close to all my
family, and it just didn't seem like a sensible thing to do. My family flipped
out when I mentioned it. Mumblings of 'he's probably an ax murderer' could be
heard. Followed by, 'I always thought you were so sensible.' Of course they were
right. I wasn't being sensible.
I weighed the options I had. One, I could play it safe, break up with him and
continue my life as I had been. Two, I could play it safe still, but not break
up with him and just put him off until I figured out what I should do. Lastly, I
could take a chance and hope it worked out. I alternated between these options
for a few days, but realized I was falling more deeply in love with him each
passing day. As I sat on my end of the computer, but seeing him right there on
the screen, watching his reaction to every thing that was said, hearing his
voice assure me that he loved me, it occurred to me that this wasn't much
different than dating. In fact, the only difference was the fact that we
couldn't touch each other. It was then that I made my decision.
I began packing all my things, put in my two weeks notice at work and bought a
plane ticket. Nervous doesn't begin to describe how I felt as I walked down the
stairs in the airport to the place where we were to meet. However, he walked up
to me, put his arms around me and in that moment, I knew everything would be
alright. I won't say that it has been smooth sailing. All relationships have
bumps, but I haven't ever regretted my decision. I'm glad I took the chance, but
mostly, I'm glad that I believe in love again and have found someone to share my
life with.
I know this isn't for everyone. I also realize my choices could be seen as
foolhardy and in some cases, that might even be true. However, sometimes life is
about taking chances as long as you don't put yourself in physical danger (i.e.
Wait until you know the person very well before meeting them in person but
basically take the same precautions you would on a date with someone you don't
know well). I tried to remember, even if it doesn't work, I won't go through
life wondering 'what if'. So keep an open mind, love has no rules and can happen
anywhere.
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